Looking Back is Looking Forward

Summer in Bangalore is here. It's hot, but not as unforgiving as those Dilli summers. In the evenings, under the moonlight, I can sit on the cane chairs on my balcony and feel some relief as a little breeze rustles through my fledgling plants. The season's begun on a tough note: changes and uncertainty, but somewhere inside me is an understanding that I can take things in my stride. 

Last week I travelled to Vellore - ironically it was work that took me back after over twenty years to this dusty Indian city where I was born. As we pulled into the station, an unforgiving heat radiated up from the ground. This is the place my parents built their little world for over ten years- a place where they began to experiment on how to bring up two crazy little girls. I didn't have an opportunity to visit the place where we lived, but when I looked around, I realised how unrecognisable that life must seem to them now. Their hot and sticky train journeys to Kerala, the once-a-month visit to the (now dilapidated) sole 'fancy' restaurant in Vellore, birthday parties arranged without fancy party planners or digital cameras. It makes me think of how unrecognisable this life of mine might seem to me thirty years from now, if I make it that far. 

What I do realise though is that however different my life may be, and how it takes its twists and turns, I know for sure that the things that make me happy and keep me grounded will remain the same: the blooming mint in my garden, the aromas of freshly cooked food, the joy of discovering new places,challenging people's mindsets, writing down my thoughts... And wherever this journey takes me and whoever I meet on the way, the things that make me who I am will constantly help refine and redefine my paths. And for that, I'm grateful for those two people who let me discover these things about myself, who encouraged me to understand who I am and my value in this world- and who continue to do so. I think they know that that little fiery girl from Vellore will be ok. They trust that. 

So as I'm faced now with challenges, I have to believe that all of these little pieces can push me along in my journey. With this realisation, then looking forward becomes a fantastic exercise- full of possibilities: of adventure and discovery and much, much, more. I guess summer may not be that hard after all.